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Friday, September 16, 2005 

You Are Not Good Enough

You are not good enough
There
It's been said

I've been watching your uselessness float all around me
Dust or cigarette smoke
Dancing through a window's slit sunlit breeze
Mesmerizing
And without value

You are not worth my time
Precious, lovely man
Who will someday surely be right
And might be for me, but for my self-possession
And your lack of interest
And my demands
Your hands are closed and tight
Fighting off humanity

I embrace
I stand arms wide open
Exposing my pink, wide, soft stomach
Flab and fat hiding muscle and strength hiding all the shit I've ever swallowed
Infallibility
You are useless to me

You are not good enough
There
I've said it
Not enough, not enough
Words echoing through me
And I realise you hold your pain as I mine
You hold your shame and deny
Time and space and waste and history
We are molded into we

Though I feel your small pump pump
Of love and ache
A manly stake
Whose burden I could shoulder
I see
You are not good enough for me
A waste of mine

I'll not be yours
Precious, lovely man
You are not good enough
There
I've said it
So let's no longer play this cat and mouse
While we espouse our hypocrisy
You are strong, bright, tough
But you muffle my heart

You are not good enough

Jess

Good to see you again, thanks for stopping in to see me. Looks like we're in the same space, my friend. 11 days, 11 months, 11 years...what's the diff? Sometimes you just have to see the reality, painful as it is.

For me, I'm good enough for me, he's good enough for him, but we're not good for each other. Sucks that we're both good for our kid........

Hang in there, pal!

XOXO

J.

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Yes Indeedy: You Are Not Good Enough